C:\\WINDOWS> systeminfo

have you seen me before..? perhaps we once fought in battle together, or roamed a foreign familiar digital land..? i have been known by a great many names at this point in the timeline, some of those which have been [dead girl, numbpilled, aeon flex, the amyl kazyl, zeiroh, ten-tongues, 2133, neon maxima, pinkskies2133] but surely i have forgot some of those myself... anyways. you're here to learn more -about- me, yes? i guess you could say i am a recovering severely isolated neet... spent most of my existence isolated, didnt even understand how lonely i was until i finially met others. the social anxiety was crippling. i credit valium and my subsequent 5 year long doctor-sanctioned abuse of it for breaking me out of my shell/cage of severe anxiety and agoraphobia. these days i reside in charlotte, north carolina, constantly yearning to return to the appalachian mountains, for the city here is vague, hollow, and evil. it is not a place of joy, from what i have gathered. mission: failure. partial success was found in my return from the city only in the fact that my family members who joined me on this voyage are now doing much better than they would be had they stayed in boone. i don't mind being a martyr for my mom's newfound happiness, or my sisters. it is all love, always.

are you here with me, on the other side of the screen...? i am lonely these days. the world digital is my one true refuge.

these days i confine myself, idiotically addicted to fentanyl and meth, as i started using fentanyl aka "down" as a (failed) attempt to commit suicide, thank goodness it failed, but gods above- this shit is vile. very difficult to exist this way. it's kind of like crack, its there and then its gone, and you're constantly chasing it. it makes me view myself as pathetic. i need to venture into the realm of methadone soon. why am i not on methadone yet...? save me.

C:\\WINDOWS> _

LOADING SECURE TERMINAL...

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..

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CONNECTION ESTABLISHED

> i reach out to my screen, and hear the hum of static

> am i alone here, too?

> is someone else here with me?

> ...

> electricity hums and grows in a crackling pulse

> present, presence

> do not forget me

> i exist in spite of the end

> death frightens me so

> why does my mom and everyone i ever loved have to die

> what is this place?

> (i want to escape space, i want to escape time)

> _